So it's day one of living back home. i made it thru one night, a shit ton more to go. My old room has a different feel altogether, although my glow in the dark stars are still on the ceiling and they still glow, it feels as if my presence has never been here. I still have my mother and sister barging into my room without knocking and the smell of my mom's Greek food cooking early in the morning, those things have remained the same. I stayed up all night learning about pancreatic cancer, what causes it, how to feed it, what treatment options he might have and so on. I printed out reminders for my dad and taped them up around the house saying, "dad, remember to breathe, we love you, be strong, don't worry we are by your side." I knew when my alarm went off that first morning, everything was about to turn upside down.
I made a list and headed for a long day of shopping. I went to target and bought a heavy duty juicer, i went to borders and bought books, i went to staples to get a journal to record everything my dad puts into his body, i went to whole foods market to buy my dad a new diet! When i returned home i cleaned out the fridge and cabinets, so much stuff had to go. frozen foods, sweets, artificial bullshit. I called my nutritionist friend alicha back in Portland and she helped me build a menu around my dads condition. Sure i've been a professional chef for 10+ years, but when it comes to healing with food, i needed back up. my dad has very painful blood clots throughout his legs. His legs are swollen and must be elevated all day long, he takes warfarin (a blood thinner) to control the clots, but when taking warfarin one must stay away from vitamin K and limit vitamin e. Are you kidding, stay away from vitamin K! All those delicious, cancer fighting leafy greens, seaweed, and vitamin e too...! it was tough but over the course of a week, my dad begin to eat foods he never thought he would. You can see the fear in his eyes and the will to live, he drank beet juice and ate quinoa, he was too scared not to.
Once we got him on a healthy diet, keeping his spirits up and exercise was next. At that point he was walking, so we got him off the couch a few times a day and he would sit on the back patio in the sun. Things were looking up, we were almost a week in from the diagnosis and he was looking and feeling great!
We had a biopsy scheduled to get a better idea of how advanced the cancer was and what are options would be. My mom, brother mike and I took him in to Torrance memorial. We waited in a very tiny room while my dads insides were getting photographed and poked at. The doctor came in and says he has some bad news for us. he had the pictures of the pancreas and liver in his hand and thru his thick german accent i heard him say this is the end, i'm sorry. Trying to ask more questions, hoping for more answers, my mom is screaming once again n Greek like a mad women. She is a very intense lady and very dramatic, she has so much emotion inside of her and never holds it back. The doctor pointed to the pictures of the liver where the cancer has spread completely, it was like looking at a dark rain cloud or a cloud of smoke, it looked evil for sure. my mom went into the room where my father was waking up, mike and i stayed behind for a second to take it all in. we just looked at each other and lost it. Pushing the tears aside, we began planning the next step, what specialist we can talk to, maybe USC, UCLA, natropaths, of course, people have beat this and so can my dad. We went in to see my dad, he looked so angelic like under the bright hospital lights, thats the first time i've seen him hooked up to machines in a gown. We just stared at each other as he held my hand, he didn't have to say anything. We texted and called all our brother and sisters, we are 3 days away from Memorial Day, lets do a family BBQ.
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